Have you ever encountered a bartender who couldn’t pour a decent pint of beer if their life depended on it?  There’s one down the street from the Mid-South Alcoholic Supply World HQ who can’t.  She slams back the tap as quickly as possible, leaving an inch and a half of head in the pint glass.  The she angrily slams the glass on the bar, spilling even more of the remaining beer.

I was complaining about this to one of my friends who brews beer, and he brought me a “Piaget” beer gauge.  This is a gauge you hang off the edge of your pint glass, and it measures how full your beer is.

You can get one of these at thebeergauge.com.  Handy little gadget to have in your wallet when you go out to the bar.

Car companies are desperate to create vehicles that run on alternative fuels, and the Times of India reports that the Sierra Nevada Brewing Company is working on beer as a fuel.  Don’t worry, though; cars won’t be taking beer away from us.  Rather, Sierra Nevada is working with the E-Fuel company in Chico, California to convert unusable “bottom of the barrel” yeast into fuel.  This yeast contains 5 to 8 percent alcohol, and through processing can be increased to 15 percent.  One day this may lead to an environmentally friendly solution that will decrease our dependence on oil.

The more beer you drink, the more yeast will be available for processing.  So have a few pints in our beer glasses.

Want a new way to do shots?  Check out the Alcohol Shot Gun from Urban Trend.  It’s a gun that shoots a shot’s worth of your favorite booze into your mouth - or wherever you aim, but why would you waste good booze?  Looks really high-tech.  I bet if George Jetson were a drunk, he’d own one of these.

The Alcohol Shot Gun would complement some of our drinking games nicely.  Check e’m out and come up with your own ideas.

Japanese company Bandai plans to release a beer shampoo on December 1.  The concept is simple, according to this Inventors’ Spot article: “Pour a beer over your head (or your friend’s head) and get dirty and clean at the same time.”  According to the press release, the shampoo isn’t pressurized and won’t spray out of the bottle when opened; for maximum effect, you’ll need to add water and shake to get the beer shampoo foam to spray out.

Yet another brilliant idea.  Alcoholics make ingenious inventors.

We at Mid-South Alcoholic Supply are lucky enough to have our World Headquarters located less than half a mile from the home of one of the teams in the NBA, so getting to games is a piece of cake.  However, buying beer once at the game is not so much fun.  For $7, you get a draft beer that would sell for maybe $3 in a neighborhood bar.  With 48 minutes, plus timeouts, plus halftime in a pro basketball game, all that drinking can get expensive.

We have a product that can help out.  The Deluxe Beer Belly is a concealable beverage container that straps onto your back and wraps around your stomach.  Concealed underneath a shirt, it looks like you have a beer belly - no one suspects that you’re actually carrying a wearable flask that can hold up to 80 ounces of your favorite beverage.  It fits waists up to 42″ in size, and comes with a bite valve for hands-free drinking.  This is an investment that will pay for itself many times over if you frequent places that overprice their beers.

The Pocket Cocktails application for the iPhone and the iPod Touch is all you need to mix great drinks (well, you need the booze, too, I suppose).  This app shows you large photos of each drink, all stored locally so you don’t need an Internet connection.  You get step-by-step instructions on how to mix each drink, and you can search by drink name or by ingredient.  There’s also a “Random!  Random!” mode with drink shaker effects.  It makes a great bartender-in-a-pocket.

The Pocket Cocktails app and a bar set from Mid-South Alcoholic Supply are surely a winning combination for creating great drinks.

You’ve probably heard of Twitter, where you can subscribe to your friends and get short updates of what they’re doing, but have you heard of Pownce?  Pownce lets you send media and events to friends, and there’s no limit to message length (it’s 140 characters on Twitter).

So, right about now you’re probably thinking, that’s great, Dr. Booze, but why are you talking about Pownce on a blog about alcohol?  Well, according to the L.A. Times, inventor Matt Reed has created a device called The Inebriator, a robotic device made from Legos, that subscribes to your Pownce RSS feed, and pours a beer whenever it sees a message containing the word “pour.”

Wow.  First the robotic beer cooler and now this.  We are in the presence of pure technological genius.

For the ultimate in laziness, check out this remote controlled beverage cooler.  This thing can travel over carpets, rugs, and floor to deliver beverages to you, its path controlled via remote control up to a distance of 40 feet.  Can be used outside too.  It holds up to 12 drinks in ice, has a zippered lid to keep drinks cold, has protected walls to keep from getting your floors wet, and it’s collapsible and be folded up when not in use.

This is true genius.  Now if someone would only invent a remote-controlled bathroom, there’d be no need to ever get up off the couch.